An Absurd Announcement!

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AN ABSURD ANNOUNCEMENT!

(Tongue-In-Cheek Serious)

July 17, 2019

After much prayer and contemplation, I have decided to throw my hat into the USA Presidential ring. HUH! Well, why not, everyone else has. And I’ve chosen my birthdate for this announcement.

Yep, this is no joke, serious. I’m not lying.

Lying (adjective) not telling the truth:

he's a lying, cheating, snake in the grass.

(Apple Dictionary)

Absurd! you say. Perhaps, but have you noticed the absurdity swirling around the USA Presidency today? According to the secular inspired word (Washington Post), the number of lies, since taking office, as of this writing:

10,111

And according to the real inspired Word (Bible), referencing the snake in the grass:

When he lies, he speaks his native language,

for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44)

Snake (deceitfully): Wait a minute, listen to me, don’t pay attention to this dribble. Lying is essential in order to be a successful lawyer, politician or real estate mogul, one of those necessary evils. You know, the end justifying the means.

You’ve got me there, father of lies, I must confess. Okay, maybe a few little white lies, but not 10,111 for God’s sake!

(Mockingly) Oh my, isn’t that a bit racist, ‘white’ meaning a ‘good’ lie and ‘black’ its ‘evil’ antithesis? Dude, with this kind of thinking, you don’t stand a snowballs chance in hell of winning. Lie boldly! Don’t worry, it’ll quickly become the new normal. You running as a Republican?

Stop interrupting yourself into this announcement, go interfere some-where else please, thank you. Point taken, however on the racist part. But as for the truth, it must always prevail, no compromise, no excuses, no vacillating. The end never justifying the means. Didn’t our forefathers set the bar high for us? George Washington chopping down the cherry tree, for example: “I cannot tell a lie.”

(Triumphantly) Wait! Isn’t that story a myth, a lie made up by his biographer in order to sell more books? Lies and more lies! And it was successful beyond the author’s wildest expectations.

There you go, masterfully bending the truth again. Yes, I suppose it is folk-lore, but told to instill a higher moral purpose: truthfulness and trust-worthiness, important virtues for this day and time.

(Smugly) Ah, so the end does sometimes justify the means, eh? On second thought, maybe you do have a shot at becoming a successful politician. You are running as a Republican, eh?

No, I’m not running as a Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Conservative or anything else close to representing the establishment. Rather, I’m running independently under the MUST! banner:

MUST!

“Make US (United States) Truthful (Trustworthy).”

And when we use a myth or allegory to communicate a higher moral purpose, it MUST be done with full disclosure, fingers crossed.

(Gleefully) Yes! Fingers crossed. Always done to sneakily cover up a lie. You’re starting to catch on, boy.

No. that’s another myth, as you well know. It has its roots in early Christianity when Christians used the fingers-crossed gesture to secretly invoke the power of the cross (over you) or to let other Christians know of their affiliation with the religion.

And this, in essence, sums up the intent and purpose for this announcement today of my candidacy. Every Monday we will introduce another facet of our platform, including funding challenges and qualifications for becoming the leader of the free world. Stay tuned, and…

(Interrupting) Ha! With this ‘goody-goody’ attitude, you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of winning.

Isn’t that what you whispered into David’s ear as he marched out to face Goliath?